How to get your ex back

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Wondering how to get your ex back? You’ve landed in the right place.

This article takes a realistic approach to the end of your relationship and will likely go where no other article on this subject has gone before. 

Your relationship with your ex has ended, for whatever reason. 

  • Has she met someone else? 
  • Is she just no longer interested? 
  • Did you cheat on her?
  • Was the relationship toxic? 
  • Were you happy in your relationship? 
  • Was she a good girlfriend? 
  • Why do you want to get back with her? 
  • What do you miss about her?
  • What do you dislike about her? 

Asking yourself these simple questions is a good place to start if you are considering how to get your ex back as they will help you to establish whether your ex is really worth fighting for. 

If, after some consideration, you still want to give it a go, you need to understand that there are no guarantees. Many other articles online suggest approaches or processes to follow in order to get your ex back but, sadly – there is no sure way to do this. 

There is no magic wand, however – there are some things men can do in order to improve the odds of getting her back. If that’s what you really want. 

Bear in mind that, if you are struggling to get over your ex partner and have anxiety over the uncertainty, this may result in you rushing to get back to a girl who really isn’t compatible with you. If this is you, you should read our article on how to get over an ex. 

Here is a list of 9 simple steps to help improve the odds of you getting your ex back. 

Step 1. Accept that the relationship has ended.

The first step that we must take is to accept the relationship might be over. This can be especially difficult for those who find it hard feeling rejected or for those who have been in long-term relationships (and all they know is the other person). 

By accepting that it’s over (probably not what you want to hear, but bear with us) you can then put your focus on rebuilding your life. Doing this will help to take your mind off things and will let your ex partner see that you’re moving on (which may act as a trigger for her reaching out for a reconciliation). 

Getting on with things could include picking up some extra shifts, socializing with friends, going to the gym and treating yourself to some new clothes. 

You should consider that this can be a risky approach as it could also indicate to your ex that you’re not bothered about winning her back. 

Step 2. Allow her to miss you

Letting her miss you is a powerful way of getting her to think about you. The less we see of someone, the more we think of them and this applies to her too. If you’re constantly showing up in her space, then this is not providing her with any opportunity to miss you. 

You may be worrying that if you don’t have any form of contact with your ex, she will take that as a sign you’re not interested and will move on without you. It doesn’t work like that. If she does have feelings for you, curiosity will start to get the better of her which may help you to win her back.  

Step 3. Don’t text and call

Texting and calling is one of the main reasons why men mess up any chance of winning their ex back. Many men find it difficult to resist the urge and will often send a simple and friendly text in the hope their ex will reply. However, as highlighted in step 2, this will not allow her any opportunity to miss you. 

Also don’t look for excuses to text her either for example, “did I leave my jumper at yours?” Or, “has any mail come for me?” 

Step 4. Don’t be aggressive 

It’s quite common to feel frustration when our relationship is over and we aren’t getting our own way. Some men may even resort to aggression but, believe us, this is not going to do you any favours. 

Aggressive behaviours will push your ex further away and make matters a hell of a lot worse. 

This includes: 

  • blackmailing her 
  • threatening behavior 
  • sending nasty and evil texts 

These types of behaviours can ruin any chance you may have of getting your ex back (and can also get you into trouble with law enforcement). 

Step 5. Avoid misusing alcohol or drug 

When your life has been turned upside down after a break up, it’s not uncommon for men to resort to misusing alcohol – or even drugs. This can lead to stupid behaviours which may ruin any chance to get back with your ex. When you are intoxicated, you may do or say things that you regret and cannot take back. This will only affirm to your ex that she has made the right decision to steer clear from you. 

Step 6. Don’t beg

It’s a sad state of affairs when you see a man begging. This sort of behaviour is not attractive or pleasant and is one of the worst things a man can possibly do. It is very unlikely that a woman will take you back out of sympathy (begging behaviours are going to make you look pathetic). Such behaviours may also make your ex feel bad and, if she decides to take you back based on this, it won’t be long before it all falls apart again. 

An example of begging behaviours include, “please take me back…. I will change, I promise ” or “tell me what I can do to fix this”? 

Step 7. Avoid playing silly tactics 

When we are hurting, we can find ourselves resorting to desperate measures in order to win an ex back. For example, a massive mistake a man may make is hooking up with another woman with the hope that his ex will get jealous and then beg him to take her back. This never works. 

Other silly tactics include: 

  • putting yourself on a dating website with the hope that she finds you’re on there
  • plastering yourself with other women all over your social media
  • turning up to places you know she hangs out in, with another woman in tow 

All these are examples of behaviours which will push your ex a million miles away from you.

Step 8. Avoid contacting their friends and family

When trying to get back with your ex, don’t be sneaky and go around the back door. What we mean is – trying to contact their friends or family with the hope they will persuade your ex to get back with you. 

Trust us when we say this approach does not work. You should even avoid asking her friends and family how she’s doing or asking that they let her know that you are thinking about her. This is only going to annoy her and feel relieved that she finally got away from you.

On the other hand she may be expecting you to ask about her and pass messages on to her through friends and family. When she finds out that you have not done this, this may come as a shock and prompt her to get in touch with you.

Step 9. Play it cool if she reaches out 

Finally (and probably most importantly), when it comes to getting your ex partner back – you must play it cool if she gets in touch. This means: 

  • Don’t rush into asking if you are getting back together 
  • Not sending her hundreds of texts back at once
  • Pausing between texts (don’t be the last one to text if you can help it) 
  • Don’t be too keen. Down-play it but be polite
  • Don’t ask who she has been out with or what she is doing. Let her tell you
  • Don’t make out you’re living it up…but also let her know you’re good and doing fine 
  • Keep the conversation short and sweet

Playing it cool and acknowledging our other steps, (including recognising the relationship is over and allowing her the opportunity to miss you) might not work. We’re going to be honest about that. However, if there’s any chance of a reconciliation, they’ll greatly improve your chances of winning her back for good. 

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