If you’re wondering how to tell if she is cheating and are asking yourself whether or not your girlfriend or wife is being unfaithful, you must have good reason or else just a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right in your relationship (and there’s a lot to be said about a gut feeling).
Before you go in there guns blazing and making allegations that she’s being unfaithful, there are some things you’ll need to consider.
Relationship experts say, first of all – assess whatever it is you’re feeling and look at the circumstances. If these feelings have occured up as a result of a sudden change in your circumstances, you may need to ask yourself whether or not your feelings of her infidelity are accurate. For example, if you have had a sudden loss of job which has resulted in you spending more time around the house, you may misinterpret your partner’s normal daily routine as suspicious – when, in fact, it’s the one she’s always kept but you haven’t been privy to it previously.
If you have experienced a sudden change in circumstances such as a loss of job or anything else traumatic, this may induce feelings of poor self-worth and a lack of masculinity. So take care around any sh*t you might be going through that may have caused you stress which you then want to assign to your ‘cheating’ partner who might well be innocent.
Another thing to bear in mind is any kind of drug or alcohol in take. When alcohol or drugs are misused, it can lead to paranoid thoughts about anything, including your partner and whether or not she is being faithful to you.
Also (do we need to state the obvious?) if you are involved in an affair yourself and feel guilty, this can lead to thoughts that your partner is doing the same to you. One of the signs women look out for is their men suddenly and randomly accusing them of cheating, interpreting this as a sure sign their guy is likely being untrustworthy and deceitful themselves. (So if you’re looking in and you do have a bit on the side, this kind of move will likely get you busted).
Warning Signs Of Infidelity In A Woman
Friends and Family Behavior
If she is cheating, one of the sure signs may be around the way she conducts herself with friends and family. You might have noticed she’s spending more time away from you and is hooking up with friends more than she has previously. She may tell you that she’s getting together with the girls or needs to work late with a so called ‘work colleague’ – or even go away on a ‘business trip’ with them. You might notice that she has met new friends or has introduced people in to conversation that you have never heard of (a red flag would be the really nice new guy at work that she really gets on really well with with but just as friends). She may also behave differently around your friends and family, distancing herself or taking on a whole new attitude towards them.
Her Attitude Has Changed
You may notice that her attitude towards you has changed if she is cheating. You may find her nagging has increased or that she is blowing up for no apparent reason. She may find any reason to argue with you and will generally treat you as though she is angry and frustrated with you (what’s going on when she does that is that she is secretly resenting you for getting in her way of the new guy on her radar). You may also find that your long-term plans together have changed and she may struggle to commit to any future events you planned to attend as a couple (a red flag is if she tells you you aren’t able to attend her work night out when partners have always been welcome to attend previously).
She’s more interested in your schedule
If she is cheating, you may find she is paying more attention to your schedule. Her thinking around this is so that she knows where and when she can plan her secret encounters with her other man. She wants to make sure you don’t catch her in the act and so will often work around your diary so that she can ensure any meetings are far away from you.
It goes without saying that if she is committing adultery or is cheating on you, she will spend more time on her appearance. Remember the time when you first started dating? All the effort you both put in to your appearance? She will revert back to this but, this time, it’s for someone else’s benefit.
She may try out a new hairstyle, lose some weight or start going to the gym or fitness classes. She may even change her style completely, adopting fashions you have never seen her wear before. If she suddenly starts dressing to kill and wears a full face of make-up before work when she never did previously, this is a huge indication that someone at her job has caught her eye. If she comes home after shopping with new lingerie and doesn’t make a big deal out of it being a treat for you, it’s likely for someone else’s benefit.
This is a huge give away. Being secretive is a sure sign of her being unfaithful. If she is cheating, you may notice that she’ll be more protective over her phone. She’ll put a lock code on it and leave it face down whenever you’re around. If you walk into a room, she may quickly shut down the screen. If she goes anywhere (the bathroom is always a good hide-out), she’ll likely take her phone with her. You may also notice her email account is password protected when it hasn’t ever been previously. When you walk past her on the laptop, she may quickly close it or change the program window. She may not take any of her phone calls in front of you (and will take the time to delete her call logs).
Your gut feeling
If you feel that something isn’t right, it likely isn’t. If you feel that she is cheating, there’s a strong possibility that she is. How many times have we heard men saying, ‘Looking back, I knew something wasn’t right. I should have trusted my instinct’.
We don’t tend to listen to our gut feeling, however, there’s a lot to be said about it. If your gut feeling is making you question whether or not she is cheating – this is not a good sign.
Sex is not the same
A red flag might be the sex. If she is cheating on you, you may notice that the sex just isn’t like it used to be. She may not be enthusiastic or fully engaged in it anymore. She may not be as creative, imaginative or adventurous. She may show signs of anger or frustration and impatience when you’re going at it with her. She may come up with excuses when you’re trying it on (she’s not in the mood or she has a headache). She may become a complete bitch over it and start complaining about your performance or comparing you to previous lovers she says were better than you.
She may even start to retreat to the second bedroom or fall asleep on the couch so that she doesn’t have to come to bed with you.
TIP: If she is cheating and you’ve found her out, Man’s Black Book thinks you should dump her ass and move on. Once the trust is gone, it is extremely hard to get this back. Should you decide to remain with a cheater, you will be in a constant state of anxiety, wondering when she’ll do it again. You’ll also be plagued by thoughts of her encounters with another man which is never good and will make you feel sh*t.
Do not put yourself through this for a cheap slag who couldn’t keep her legs together. Ditch her immediately and look after yourself.